Crying in H-Mart by Michelle Zauner, is a memoir about Zauner and her relationship with her mom before her mom died of Pancreas cancer. The book exceeded my expectations, and it surprised me that the book wasn’t just about the last moments of Zauner’s mother’s life. Instead it was a deep analysis of Zauner’s upbringing, as well as a brutally truthful insight on Zauner’s thoughts.

Zauner grew up in Eugene, Oregon. She mentions how she often felt isolated and jealous, as she grew up in a mostly white neighborhood, being the only Asian in her school. Zauner grew resentful towards her mother, Chongmin, as she felt that her mother being Korean was restricting her from being similar to her fellow peers and ended up moving out to her friend’s place while in high school, due to her resentment. It’s a stark contrast to the very beginning of the book, where Zauner is shopping in an H-mart, a Korean grocery store, before suddenly breaking down whilst in the middle of grocery shopping, after her mother passed away. She’s unable to resist her feelings of jealousy, watching people shop and eat in the food court with their mother in the H-mart. Even though Zauner admits to her mother being a “tough love” kind of person, she can’t help but wish she cherished her time with her mother more and wished she could’ve been a better daughter- instead of constantly trying to oppose her mother’s wishes.

Zauner also does a really good job of being brutally honest about her feelings, ones that most would bury deep in the back of their mind. For example, after her mom was diagnosed with Pancreatic cancer, her mom’s friend, Kye, moved from South Korea to Oregon to help take care of her. During that time, Zauner grew a deep conflict with Kye. On one hand, she’s thankful that Kye moved just to help take care of Chongmin, but Zauner can’t help but feel anxious about Kye’s presence. Zauner felt like she could never take care of her mother correctly, making Chongmin foods which easily made her sick while she was going through chemotherapy. Zauner eventually started to grow bitter towards Kye’s presence. Zauner felt like she should be the one taking care of her mother, and that Kye was taking away time that Zauner could’ve spent with her mother. Additionally, Zauner suggested shaving her hair off in support of her mother, but didn’t as her mother felt like it wasn’t needed. However, Kye proceeded to shave off her hair in support of Chongmin, making Zauner feel as if she had to “compete” with Kye, in order to be the more important person in her mother’s life.

Overall, Crying in H-mart is a book that speaks Zauner’s honest feelings without any words to make her sound like a better individual. That’s what I like most about the book, there are no words to try and make her seem like a better person. She was able to look back and realize her own feelings without sugar-coating it. It’s a refreshing view in a book, as many books, fiction or nonfiction, will almost never be so honest about the flaws of the main character/person of the book. I would highly recommend it if you want a good cry-sesh- because of just how relatable it is.