From sitting down in March to take the SAT, to clicking ‘Submit’ on the Common App, the class of 2024 has given their blood, sweat, and tears for a chance at higher education. From separating themselves from social activities to scrutinizing each low mark, they have endured much for this opportunity. Replace ‘sitting down in March’ or ‘separating from social activities’ with any grueling part of the college application process, and you’ll realize the extent to which students are expected to push themselves for admission officers. This pressure is normalized; students are expected to get a job, secure an internship, write the perfect essay, and score perfectly on exams. It’s even romanticized in thousands of videos attempting to trend what many students claim to be the most stressful time of their high school career.

But when students struggle with coping or with the education system, it’s unexpected. It’s concerning when 16-year-olds aren’t sure about their career path. It’s bewildering when they aren’t enamored with the idea of college. Yet, we normalize the obsessive relationship between teenagers and college. In what world do we live where students are more likely to struggle with coping after being rejected from Yale instead of worrying about what dress they’ll wear to prom? We live in a world where, “Who cares if I’m pretty if I fail my finals!” is a trending social media sound. This is a world where students are expected to prioritize their education over their hobbies and desires. Now, creating boundaries between college and personal life is considered normal. It should be expected, but with colleges having access to students’ addresses and social media platforms, it’s difficult to stop thinking about it. Some students receive more emails from The New School than texts from their friends. However, students are to be grateful that a college is even interested in them, right?

Incorrect! These are sixteen-year-old kids who barely grasp the concept of taxes they pay when they finish a shift. They are kids who are afraid to call their doctor. Yet, we expect them to push themselves to the brink of mental exhaustion, because their weekends are filled with work. These are the kids who will regret not going out more, because they were too focused on what NYU wants. Otherwise, they might resent losing years to a goal they may not even want in two years. Do we want to end up with generations of adults suffering from imposter syndrome? No, we want capable adults who can contribute. That won’t happen without establishing proper boundaries and expectations.

Therefore, when a student claims to hate college, that should be normal. It’s normal to dislike the work before the work; nobody likes to work towards a possibly intangible goal. Admissions officers are judges; you can’t win them all over. So, when your file enters the secret judging room, it’s okay if you’re not, “They are so impressive, EA it is for them!” or “Wow! $2,000,000 scholarship for them!” All you need to focus on is doing what you like, not what an adult wants you to be. Being deferred or waitlisted are accomplishments in their own right. Rejection is a breakup, but you’ll find a program meant for you, regardless of the school. Even if you end up disliking your school, remember, there’s some kid at Harvard hating it too. This highlights that a college’s prestigious status isn’t a guarantee of your success there. Maybe you’re more likely to win a Nobel Peace Prize at a lower-ranked college, but in the end, no one can define your future for you. You won’t know where you’ll succeed without trying.

No one can define what your grades really mean; one admission officer’s view is another student’s story. Some stories aren’t told, and sometimes, those untold stories are worth more than the ones told, and that’s okay.

So, this entire article is to tell kids writing their college applications that colleges are like picky two-year-olds; you can’t always please them. Take the wins you’ve got and make them known and take the losses as lessons. Transfers are an option for a reason. Maybe then, you’ll become the athletic, academic, business owner, and researcher that colleges want. And if not? You’re still human. You’re still allowed to be disappointed and frustrated, but do not let those feelings consume you. A Harvard rejection lasts a month at most; an acceptance at MIT might cure it, right? No! The whole point of this article is to show that a prestigious status isn’t worth attaining if you can’t put yourself first. Plus, it’s just a school; it won’t guarantee you a job afterward, so take a breather.

Sincerely,
A Confused High-Schooler